Updated: Mar 30, 2021
Preparing for Baby
I am much more nervous writing this post then the last. That cool calm and collected Courtney that was so excited about labour and birthing is slowly drifting away… Why? Because I am now in the third trimester and I am quietly freaking out! I remember the first day of the third trimester… I was so nervous! I had butterflies in the first two days because it suddenly hit me that I am about to have a baby. Parenting and having the baby doesn’t make me nervous at all. But birthing does. Where did my confidence go!? I have no idea but I want it back. Now. Time is ticking and the baby isn’t going to wait until I’m ready before they make their arrival. So what is my focus for this trimester? Again, preparing for labour. But it’s a little more real now.
Have you ever watched videos of women in labour? Maybe on Youtube or on One Born Every Minute and thought about how amazing and emotional the birthing experience is? Yeah, same. Until I watched them during pregnancy. I was watching One Born Every Minute the other night and did not enjoy it this time. I was cringing and clenching and looking away. I suppose it is not comfortable for anyone to see someone else go through so much pain and not be able to do anything about it.
I have no idea how to get over this fear and nervousness about labour. I heard about a couple of amazing books and loaned one from the library. It is called ‘Ina May’s Guide to Childbirth’ and I have heard great things about it. Unfortunately for me, her other book has been requested by eight other people... So I won’t have that book in time. I am still working on manifesting my positive and peaceful labour but I still have a lot of nerves to push through first!
I am still working on manifesting my positive and peaceful labour but I still have a lot of nerves to push through first!
I knew that stress was not good for baby but I didn’t realise how strongly it actually affected them until I experienced it myself. I had a very busy week of moving house, finishing my assignments, finishing reports for school and I was also sick. The baby had regular movements and I knew the time of day they would kick and move about. During that time of stress, the baby changed positions and I couldn’t feel movements anymore. Thankfully I could get a scan fast enough to make sure everything was okay. But it made me realise that I need to chill out!
This happened a second time after an overwhelming week at work. I could feel baby moving but it wasn't as strong and regular as usual. I was told to have a relaxing weekend, lie on my left side and have a drink of ice cold water to wake baby up. I was mindful and connecting with baby in this position for an hour and then baby was up and moving throughout the weekend again (even waking me up at 5am). Moral of the story: Protect yourself from stress and learn to let things go. This is something I am working on in order to protect my baby. I know that if I provide a stressful environment for the baby to grow in, baby will come out prepared for a stressful environment. Once I learnt this, I knew I had to put myself and my baby first. I need to consider how I can be less stressed and then put some actions in place. I encourage all pregnant parents to be doing the same!
My husband and I have had a chance to sit down and decide on our family values together. It was a great experience to be able to put our minds together and focus on what is important for us as a family.
My husband and I have had a chance to sit down and decide on our family values together. It was a great experience to be able to put our minds together and focus on what is important for us as a family. We were guided through this process with the book ‘Values Guided Parenting' by Kirsty Foster.
The values we came up with are:
These may change but at the moment we really like them. I am super excited to have the baby and start using these values to guide my parenting.
As I watch the news, I see a lot of new countries being hit with a second wave of Covid-19. I am really hopeful that in New Zealand, we will continue to keep our numbers low. Otherwise, there are a lot of things that could change in my pregnancy and birthing plan! I feel for all the pregnant parents who are doing this in such uncertain times. You deserve a wine! Hopefully my next update will not include New Zealand experiencing a second wave. Fingers crossed!
Courtney is a newly married teacher with an exciting new challenge heading her way as she eagerly awaits the birth of her first child. As a teacher with experience working with children with special needs and severe learning and behavioural challenges, Courtney has always kept values at the forefront of her practice. Naturally, when preparing for parenthood she felt a connection with the book 'Values Guided Parenting'. Courtney and her husband, Ryan, are using 'Values Guided Parenting' to help navigate their shared journey to parenthood. Each month Courtney will be sharing a summary of her preparations and experiences to becoming a Values Guided Parent.